Setting limits

Every Friday I will get newsletter from BabyCenter entitled “My toddler this week” which talks about the progress of babies/toddlers of Aariz’s age. I like to read it so that I am aware of Aariz’s development to see if he is on track or not and mostly to give me the comfort that whatever I am going through with Aariz is common.

Aariz is now at the age where he can throw tantrums (i.e. cries out loud) if he doesn’t get what he wants, if we give him something that he doesn’t like or if he doesn’t get to do things himself (he really really likes to feed himself but oh the mess he makes!!). He is also very very curious albeit cheeky, as the article rightly pointed out “the things that you most want him not to do are exactly the things he wants to do most”.

So I’ve been doing some research to see how best to react and I’m not fond of yelling or scolding people when they do something wrong, so naturally that’s my philosophy in bringing up Aariz, although I have to say sometimes he does get on my nerves, no matter how much I love him.

So far, research shows (including BabyCenter) that the best way to stem unnecessary behaviour is to set limits. If you restrict them too much, then they will lose the freedom and fun to explore. So if you don’t want him to climb the table because you are afraid he might fall, then place pillows surrounding the foot of table or best yet, just pull that table away if it is too dangerous for him. The point is, you set the limits or boundaries to avoid any injuries or keep an eye on him closely so that he still gets to climb and explore. And if he falls, quickly catch him before he touches the floor so that he learns that it is dangerous to climb.

Same goes to investing. If you put too much restrictions, the asset managers may become too risk averse. Might as well just put the money in fixed deposits. Hence, you need to have a set of limits. And get an independent party, such as the risk unit to monitor them so that they don’t go near the limits. By doing so, the asset managers will at least take calculated risks without worrying too much if they may fall.

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